There is a world inside the imaginations of my mind...where I exist with treasured purpose, I am fully known, ellicit humbley a sense of respect, am held by arms that embrace all of me with intrinsic,intangible value. I know not the details of my destiny with truths or facts, but in this world...My existence brings healing and hope to the suffering epidemic of suffocation of life coursing through humanities veins...at a rate of extinction. I dream of meaning with overwhelming passion...I long to be seen in the world,not as a burden of darkness...but of hope,faith,love...the molecules of life. But, still , in my imagination I dream in grandeur, perhaps to have space enough to exist somewhere - to survive the facts of my life.
I write about the things I learn from the struggles,triumphs,and memories of my life. Sometimes I dont have the answers, but I just need to put my feelings and experiences down in black white...
Sunday, December 4, 2022
Divine Madness
How many times have I been ripped,splintered,
disassembled in the many mirrors of a my mind
To understand and communicate with myself from every obtuse angle and conflicted facet?
To separate my quiet shame and screaming loathing from the cathartic pantomime of higher reason and utopian bliss of a soul mates love....
I've butchered the masterpiece of logic that blended seamlessly with my reality
Into a world where choirs of angels sing meangingless anthems and I disect myself ruthlessly to find the wholeness within me.
It is endless genius and madness colliding to music of all the pain,love,regret,lies and truths orchestrating this creation said to be made with intent for a divine purpose...one of God's masterpieces.
I must be divinely appointed to create sorrowful entropy....
Perhaps, the melody is seen best when I am it's vessel not its writer...
Does ones soul ever find itself in harmony with the universe or the reflection in another souls eyes...
How do you take all of the Me,Myself,and I's intoxicated,diseased,confused and clearly aware of my brokenness and calamity
And surrender to Love by letting it go, release the control...
Trust the divine Is the madness and insanity....
I just cannot read the sheets
For it is outside myself, not within, the sense of being and wholeness is made.
I surrender, I will sit in the insanity,quietly and wait.
I will send the S.O.S to my maker
Save
Our
Souls
Of the macabre,ephemeral unhealable mess that I've made.
May the miracle of Mercy and Grace find entrance to the labyrinth of me. May the angels one day sing my anthem of Victory to a mind with singular focus of existence...but may I never forget the truths and acceptance I found amongst the rubble and darkest places of mine.
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