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A Hearts Hope

Hope you see
From your position of well seasoned soul's of the wise.
If you can remember your early spirit being ready, but not quite
Hope you know the dedication stays unmoved , despite fears by and by
Nothing can change the path I'm on
Though it seems I've been on it quite a while
Time has a way of intensifying the urgency and the weight of the soul
Bargaining my sanity for just one more roll
I can't imagine how I'll survive this
I moving forward anyway
trying not to carry the load of past failures
I wish they were less chained to my soul
Screaming, nagging loudmouths
As if it always ends the same
Except for that time it doesn't
I'm certain my threshold has been reached
Were it not for those completely, utterly out of their mind
I would be certain the moment of victory, is ready to collide with my destiny
In the end, you must have suffered and lost enough to be willing to suffer the pains of extraction of an infected part of your brain.
I just wanted to let you know from my position
I'm so desperate to feel alive, I'm willing to surrender to death of
the breath that has saved my soul from giving up
And it's a grief that is deeper than one might imagine,
But doesn't change my resolute desire to let it go
the intensity of the exit is wrenching
There are many layers to this part
Of me
You can't put a label on me and cross-reference some file
As far as my shame will let me,
As far as your predjudice allows
Finding honesty and compassion might just ease the pain we each will be bearing out.
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Location: Sarnia, ON, Canada

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