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Finding Myself

" I am out with lanterns, searching for myself" ~ Emily Dickison

How do I find myself, amongst all the clutter and noise. How do I uncover the lies that I told myself, if I think they are truths? A Higher Power than me that comes as a still small voice... So hard to hear amongst the noise of a thousand regrets, torn lives, hatred and abuse. Have my sins soiled my soul so completely it is deaf to love, faith and hope? I am screaming in constant terror, but the nothingness I exist in the  remains of the silence of a thousand little deaths - buried and unheard  ... I need faith that if I hold to hope, Love can do its work. A painful metamorphosis to freedom, lessons learned from my self-inflicted scars and unforgiven hurts. 
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