Mercy's Calamities

There is a world inside the imaginations of my mind...where I exist with treasured purpose, I am fully known, ellicit humbley a sense of respect, am held by arms that embrace all of me with intrinsic,intangible value. I know not the details of my destiny with truths or facts, but in this world...My existence brings healing and hope to the suffering epidemic of suffocation of life coursing through humanities veins...at a rate of extinction. I dream of meaning with overwhelming passion...I long to be seen in the world,not as a burden of darkness...but of hope,faith,love...the molecules of life. But, still , in my imagination I dream in grandeur, perhaps to have space enough  to exist somewhere - to survive the facts of my life.

How many times have I been ripped,splintered, disassembled in the many mirrors of a my mind To understand and communicate with myself from every obtuse angle and conflicted facet? To separate my quiet shame and screaming  loathing from the cathartic pantomime of higher reason and utopian bliss of a soul mates love.... I've butchered the masterpiece of logic that blended seamlessly with my reality Into a world where choirs of angels sing meangingless anthems and I disect myself ruthlessly to find the wholeness within me. It is endless genius and madness colliding to music of all the pain,love,regret,lies and truths orchestrating this creation said to be made with intent for a divine purpose...one of God's masterpieces. I must be divinely appointed to create sorrowful entropy.... Perhaps, the melody is seen best when I am it's vessel not its writer... Does ones soul ever find itself  in harmony with the universe or the reflection in another souls eyes... How do yo...

Oozing from the buried deep, Hemmoraging moments, present and real Weighted grieving, covers anahedom, Trickling memories taunting me...heaven on earth is a moment of visceral joy,contentment of mind; innocence,youth and time.  A heart exploding with courageous lifeforce ,fill imagination, longing for luxurious lucid, living dreams Yet still seem to comfort the edges of pain. Little deaths, hardly ever even marked by a grave, compile, infect,amputate. Time is a gown adorning me with etherical sadness, Eternity abandoned -my saturation of Soul. Absence, inability to recall, except every detail. My moments of eternal devine suspension in Grace... Now stay like little bodies lifeless...for each one has mutated to a funeral of my soul,  reservoirs for guilt and failure and shame. Evil contorted mind breaking, time wasting away...  Like echos in the catacombs-  moments of joy captured for all eternity  Stay hidden unless they plan to visit my memories Lettin...

I want to fall asleep safe in a captured moment of  time where  Sleepy,lucid dreams are rythmic enchantments  to a warm hearts beating, while envelopped in caring arms. ~Tracy Boote

Hope you see From your position of well seasoned soul's of the wise. If you can remember your early spirit being ready, but not quite Hope you know the dedication stays unmoved , despite fears by and by Nothing can change the path I'm on Though it seems I've been on it quite a while Time has a way of intensifying the urgency and the weight of the soul Bargaining my sanity for just one more roll I can't imagine how I'll survive this I moving forward anyway trying not to carry the load of past failures I wish they were less chained to my soul Screaming, nagging loudmouths As if it always ends the same Except for that time it doesn't I'm certain my threshold has been reached Were it not for those completely, utterly out of their mind I would be certain the moment of victory, is ready to collide with my destiny In the end, you must have suffered and lost enough to be willing to suffer the pains of extraction of an infected part of y...

On the edges of my life, I see normalcy humming it's cathartic Melody People walk by and I smell the fulfillment of their lives...it is the most viscerally satisfying fragrance one could hope to inhale Every day that I wake up,I'm never certain Even should the world around me be calm That I will be facing a day with enough strengh where my heart has the courage to sift through My memories of pretending to be a part of the Golden mean, my moments of true personal triumphs known to only me , and so many reminders of how I'm supposed to be. And come up with a motivational game plan to survive this isolation on the periphery of life. Could I just suppose to be just like this and work on the kinetics of my heaving of mind and heart before my soul evaporates to a veneer of some weird sort of human condition I cannot even begin to imagine. As Time passes there is a terror that is seeping in around my mind, darkening the hope light in my heart, changing the opaci...

I would love to feel safe, just right in that space where my heart and mind entangle with all the indelible,cumulative,inverted,tender,diseased parts of my soul.  Not fixed, just safe. I would love to let you know I feel safe inside even though I'm broken...one day I hope to tell you that 

A moment is all you need to inspire a smile from a weary soul. Here’s to every moment and being fully surrendered to it,fully alive in it, fully immersed in the miracle that moment is. Here’s to mercy for those moments you’re all in, fully alive ,and immersed in the miracle and you have never been more acutely aware of your brokenness Here’s to the moments like frozen agony and interminable in length You’re not sure there is an end and if there is, your positive you will never recover from enduring the moment, you are now good and dead. Please hurry with your casket Here’s to the moment that is eternal and timeless. When Two people connect on another level of knowing, beyond what we know of our breath and mind and words and talk. A space and time is something you speak about having been with someone, rather a place you share more figuratively. Those moments can define relationships, lifetimes,legacies… Right now, I’m living my life, hoping my dreams and sanity stay with me… moment to ...